Sidewalk Superiority
VINCENT: You, Patrick, what’s your problem?
PATRICK: It’s petty. It’s not some deep thing.
VINCENT: Just spit it out.
PATRICK: It’s awkward to complain in front of everybody. You know: “Never complain. Never Explain.”
VINCENT: You’re stalling. And you know you want to complain. Just go ahead.
PATRICK: Alright. I know this is not the most mature thing, but people are always in my space. On the sidewalk, they’re walking right into me, they’re staring at their phone, head up their ass. Or people from other cultures who have a “different” sense of social distance. They’re too close. Or, if I’m crossing the street and a car is edging into the crosswalk, getting too close and it just irritates the total utter fuck out of me.
VINCENT: So, people are always in your fucking space. Sidewalk zombies on their phones. Immigrants in some kind of third-world bubble. Cars creeping in as if they own your crosswalk. Say it again.
PATRICK: I think you got it.
VINCENT: I know I got it. It’s your story, not mine. Say it again, loud and clear.
PATRICK: I told you I’m not exactly proud of this.
VINCENT: It’s not “you” talking anyhow; it’s your autopilot. So just say it again. Let’s hear the machine. Everyone’s in your space. Let’s have it.
PATRICK: Yeah, it’s annoying. Sidewalk bogeys. Cars too close. Uber Eats electric bikes, sandwich boards. I’ve got to navigate all this bullshit and everyone’s either got their head up their ass or they’re intentionally pinching me.
VINCENT: Right, you’re the best urban sidewalk walker and you’re the victim of everyone else’s lousy walking.
PATRICK: I didn’t say that. It’s just something I’d prefer not to have to deal with.
VINCENT: You’re still protecting your point of view. Why? What’s your payoff?
PATRICK: I don’t know. I don’t see any upside. It’s just irritating.
VINCENT: You can’t see it? You don’t see what you’re getting? We can.
PATRICK: I guess not.
VINCENT: It’s not hard, man. Your payoff? How about “being right.” You understand proper distance. They don’t. How about staying safe as the victim: everyone’s rude; you’re the only civilized one. And you get to feel superior: your culture’s better. See how this works?
PATRICK: Yeah. It’s not pretty.
VINCENT: You’re damn right! You do it so you can stay small and pissed. It’s familiar. It’s your identity. See it? You getting this?
PATRICK: (absorbing). I never thought about it like this.
VINCENT: Look, Patrick, you are “irritation” waiting to happen. You’re out looking for reasons to be annoyed and when it happens… bam! Run the routine. You’re the injured party. You get your hit. But what’s this way of being costing you?
PATRICK: It’s just a moment of annoyance.
VINCENT: No! It’s constantly living as an easily-triggered animal! Annoyance is your “always on” state. What kind of life is that?! You’re playing a petty border war with the world and you can’t win because it’s you versus 8 billion people who don’t give a damn about your special invisible fence.
PATRICK: (laughing). Ok, ok. Touché.
VINCENT: Imagine instead living as “charming” waiting to happen. Or “funny” waiting to happen? Or “inspiring” waiting to happen. You see? Can you see how would things be different?
PATRICK: Alright, got it.
VINCENT: And you chose “irritated.” Listen. You can continue to be right and irritated and keep your story. But that’s not living. Or you can catch yourself in the moment, not react and drop the payoff. You get to choose. (Satisfied, Vincent’s already moving on to the next participant. Takes a parting shot:) Just don’t pretend that you don’t want to feel superior and right. Got it?
PATRICK: Hold on, not really. I mean, I see what you’re saying. I just don’t get how my life gets better just being aware that I’m running a con on myself, getting irritated to feel superior. I mean, it’s still going to happen. People will get in my space. I’m still going to be frustrated.
(Vincent walks right up to his face.)
VINCENT: Look everybody! Patrick’s new racket just dropped! Fresh and loud: “I’ll still be annoyed. How the hell does my life gets better from just watching myself get annoyed?!”
PATRICK: Exactly.
VINCENT: What an asshole.
PATRICK: (smiling.) That’s my favourite, when you say that.
VINCENT: Glad you like it and thank you for the opportunity. Because what you’re doing now is just your survival machine doubling down, protecting your favourite payoff: “I get to stay superior and irritated forever, because real change would remove my status as the civilized, elegant sidewalk Jedi amongst bumbling barbarians.” Big asshole move.
PATRICK: I see, that’s wild.
VINCENT: So run it again, your new story: “Awareness is enough, but nothing’s going to change.”
PATRICK: Ok, awareness is enough, but I don’t see it changing anything.
VINCENT: Yeah, see? You want to keep your low-grade war against the world going because the war keeps your identity safe! The world is wrong. You’re right. You get to be the guy who’s “above” it, but it secretly owns you. It runs your life. You remain in vigilant, diluted fight mode. Constantly.
PATRICK: My own irritation bubble.
VINCENT: Yeah, so next time the car creeps, you catch yourself. Don’t argue with the feeling. Don’t feed it. Don’t try to be zen about it. Just drop the energy. It’s not “never feel annoyed.” It just doesn’t run your day. You get free by knowing the payoff is worthless.
PATRICK: So, don’t fight the superiority thing?
VINCENT: What’s the point? It’s not going to go away. “Killing your ego” is the ultimate ego play. Just stop pretending you don’t want to feel superior. You DO want to feel superior! It’s there. But it doesn’t have to own you. (Pause.) We good?
PATRICK: (nods.) Thank you.